


The Scarf of Sexual Preference

by seriesly



Category: A Very Potter Musical Series - Team StarKid, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, Fluff, I started this as a crackfic and suddenly it became much more, Lesbian, The Scarf of Sexual Preference, it's like the sorting hat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:06:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24487123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seriesly/pseuds/seriesly
Summary: Hermione found this amazing scarf. She doesn't know it has some... special abilities.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Minerva McGonagall
Comments: 17
Kudos: 163





	The Scarf of Sexual Preference

**Author's Note:**

> Note: took the idea of this particular scarf from A Very Potter Musical - to those who haven't seen it yet: it's free and it's hilarious, definitely would recommend (it's on youtube!)
> 
> Second note: i wrote this before i even knew there was a second part where Scarfie actually makes an appearance - Thus the look of Scarfie differs from the original.

Hermione Granger never cared about things as mundane as fashion. Today, however, she proudly wears her newest piece of clothing. It looks like it was made out of silk and was so soft that she barely even felt it around her neck. To Hermione's big surprise she found out that it was able to change colours to accentuate her current clothes - today it was a deep burgundy that was matching very well with her Gryffindor uniform. 

As she was marching down to the common room, she was having a deja-vu to her Fourth Year. People stopped mid-sentence to gawk at her, and Ron even jumps up from the loveseat he was occupying just a second earlier.  
"'Mione," he breathes out, "you look... good."

She beams at him at the compliment. "It's the scarf. Really. It makes me more confident as well, maybe that's why it's such a difference."

"Guys, are you coming? We're going to miss breakfast," an annyoed voice behind Hermione says. As she turns around she sees the sleep rumpled figure of her best friend. "Good morning to you as well, Harry," she replies with a smile. 

"You got a new scarf?" he asks sleepily. Surprised that he would even notice in his condition, Hermione laughs. "Yes, I found it."

The boys share a look of surprise. 

"Okay, technically I took it but someone obviously didn't want it anymore. I found it in the Room of Hidden Things. I returned there yesterday because I wondered if there might be any treasures hidden. I saw it next to the cupboard with the potions book, actually, and I just had to take it. So I didn't steal it, if you think that. Nor did I pick it up from the ground, obviously. Though I do wonder why someone would leave something breathtaking like this behind..." Hermione's rambling quietens.

"Well... It looks well on you," Ron murmurs as he looks anywhere except at the small witch next to him. When no immediate reply comes, he starts scratching his neck in embarrassment and the tips of his ears start glowing red. 

Letting him off the hook, Hermione just says "Well, i'm surprised we're not on our way yet, seeing as this is about food." 

Before she can react, Ron is already outside the portrait and leaves two laughing people behind.

After the Battle of Hogwarts no one really expected the Golden Trio to return to their former school. They were already offered great jobs at the Ministry and at some independent shops. That Hermione Granger, brightest witch of her age, returned anyway was foreseeable - but when her two closest friends turned down the offers as well, the wizarding world was shocked. 

Having fought at the frontline of a vicious war and being on the run for over 9 months, none of them fancied to be thrown into another new stressful situation so soon again - they all just wanted to return to the familiarity of the castle's old walls that held secrets of millieniums. For once, they wanted to go back to the calm life when exams at the end of the year were the most stressful thing to happen. It didn't hurt when most of their friends returned as well, and they could almost pretend they were just kids again, who were allowed to relax with their friends in the common room or play quidditch on a sunny day or simply enjoy the monotony of daily classes.

Life became easier here, and the shadows of past dark times never seemed so terrifying and cruel when you had your friends surround you.

Finally entering the Great Hall, Hermione sweeps her glance over the four house tables infront of them, where countless students were sitting and chatting with their peers. They walk right to the middle of the long table and sit down next to Dean Thomas, Ginny Weasley and Neville Longbottom who already started on reducing the giant piles of food infront of them. 

While eating some eggs with bacon Hermione lets her gaze wander over the witches and wizards in the hall and tunes out her friends when they started chattering excitedly about the upcoming Quidditch match. 

There is Astoria Greengrass, Slytherin, who was recently seen with Draco Malfoy. There is Lisa Turpin, Ravenclaw, who fought in the Charms corridor for her life just a few months prior. There is Luna Lovegood next to her, who had become one of Hermione's dearest friends and who was just as absentminded as clever. There is Justin Finch-Fletchley, Hufflepuff, who sits next to Hannah Abbot and Ernie Macmillan who all stood up bravely for their peers in May.

Looking further to her right, Hermione turns her gaze to the high table where her professors are seated.  
There is Hagrid, who carried Harry's limp body like a babe back to the castle. Next to him is Professor Flitwick, who at one point battled a Death Eater and an Acromantula simulaneously and then still won.  
There is the chair that should've been empty to honor his previous occupier, but the students needed another Potions professor, and so one was found. 

And then there is Headmistress McGonagall. Who fiercely protected her Lion cubs as if they were her own countless times over the years. Who held her ground in a duel with Voldemort himself. Who is able to create three Patronuses simultaneously, which then takes the form of her own animagus. Who gave a piercing cry when Harry was declared dead and who never stopped resisting the Death Eaters even when that made herself a mark for the Death Eaters. McGonagall, whose black hair was still bound in the same tight bun like on the first day. Who held herself with such a grace and elegance unparalled in the teacher staff. Whose emerald velvet robes enhanced the colour of her green eyes - eyes that sparkle in amusement when she hears a clever joke, and whose smile would light up the room. Whose gaze seems to meet her own for a split seco--

"LESBIAN!" a shrill voice suddenly shouts, ending Hermione's train of thought rather abruptly. 

For a moment the Great Hall is deadly quiet and every eye has turned to the middle of the Gryffindor table, just where Hermione and her friends are sitting. In fact, even those are looking at her with wide eyes. Why are they all looking at me? 

"I-I-I didn't ... I didn't say that. It wasn't me. I swear!" she stutters out in embarrassment. She can feel her face warming and she already knows it's visible to everyone in the Great Hall.  
After another few prolonged seconds of silence some students turn their attention away and start chatting again. 

"Was is just me or did 'Mione just shout 'lesbian' to the world?" Ron snickers.

"Shut up, Ron. It wasn't me," Hermione replies hastily but avoids looking someone in the eye.

Harry snorts. "Yeah, Mione, we just believe that it just was another person who just happened to sit exaclty in your place, how cur--

"It wasn't ME," she replies fiercely. Both boys raise they hands in surrender. "Whatever you say." They share a look and just barely manage to keep their laughter in. Not being able to handle the odd attention to herself, Hermione gets up and storms to the nearest bathroom.

...

Hermione is mortified. Lesbian. She already knew that much since the beginning of last year when she had to spend too much time in a rather small tent with two boys. But now it was just shouted to the world, and everyone assumed she had just declared her sexuality infront of everyone. Merlin. She buries her head in her hands. Now she can only hope that for some reason nobody will talk about it and that it will be forgotten soon.

With that hope she gets up determined and strides out of the bathroom. Really, hiding in here is such a 12-year old move. 

...

Just after breakfast they had a double lesson of Herbology. Luckily Ron and Harry had waited for her at the castle's entrances so they could go down to the greenhouses together.  
Before returning to the school she was rather terrified she had forgotten everything that she learned while she was one the run - an unlikely event, but she still feared it. The lesson helped reducing Hermione's anxiety enormously. Today she managed to score 5 points for Gryffindor when she correctly remembered the watering cycle of the Venomous Tentacula and then another 3 when she could correctly recite the process of dealing with Leaping Toadstools. 

It made her hope she could earn some points from her stern head of house during the next class - Transfiguration. 

In today's lesson they were discussing a spell that Hermione has seen a few times in some Witches Magazines (not she had been looking for these sort of magazines specifically, mind you): Crinus Muto, a spell that changes the hair style and colour. As they were supposed to practise on each other, it was of utmost importance Professor McGonagall had a good view on the class, so that she could quickly step in if a spell had gone awry. However as Professor McGonagall held another short speech about the importance and dangers of Transfiguration, Hermione's anticipation was cut short.

"... so unless you have a mastery in Transfiguaration you should absolutely refrain from changing either the words or the wand movement of this incantation. That being said, I shall now demonstrate it on this wig. I expect you to be attentive." 

She pulls her dark wand from her left sleeve and lets her gaze wander over the classroom to check if she has the attention of all the pupils present. Shortly, forest green eyes lock with cinnamon ones.

"LESBIAN!," the high-pitched voice announces again. At first Hermione freezes, then she just lets her head fall onto the tabletop. 

"I didn't say that," she mumbles against the table. There are a few snickers heard around the room.

"Miss Granger, I expect you to watch the proceedings as well," the calm voice of her professor interrupts her embarrassment. When she forces her head back up, Hermione notices that once again, everyone in the room has their eyes trained on her. She feels her face grow hot, again. Even Professor McGonagall can't suppress the urge to lift her eyebrows in surprise. Nevertheless she takes pity on her student and resumes the lesson. 

...

"So, Hermione," a grinning voice says next to her at the house table, "Do you think you have anything to tell us?" Harry laughs.  
If looks could kill, Harry would be dead. But then the fight leaves her body. Shoulders slumped, she nods almost imperceptibly. "Harry, Ron... I really am a lesbian. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but I didn't know how."

Both of the boys have a slightly hurt look in their eyes. "Hermione," Harry tentatively says, "you know you can trust us. We understand." Harry quickly shifts his eyes to his best friend, who nods excessively in agreement. "And at least now that your trendy new scarf has announced your preference to the whole school, you probably won't have any problems finding another girl." Harry winks with no subtlety at all.

"But don't you dare steal all the cute girls from us, 'Mione!" Ron adds laughingly. 

"Prick," Hermione murmurs before succumbing to their laughter.

She suddenly has another thought. "Wait, guys. You _knew_ it wasn't me who said it?"

The boys look at her as if she had spontaneously grown another head. "Duh. That voice didn't sound like you at all." Hermione sighs in relief. "Also, you probably didn't see it, but when it started talking it seemed to grow a mouth shortly, you know like the Sorting Hat. It was obvious that it was the scarf who shouted 'Lesbian'."

Hermione grins at them with a shaky smile. "Good. I was really worried about that, you know? I'm... I'm just glad." She looks at them seriously for a moment. "And I'm also very glad that you are so understanding. Thank you."

Harry covers her hand with one of his own. "Of course, Hermione. You're our best friend." He smiles warmly. 

That's the obvious end of the discussion, and the boys immediately use her silence to talk about Quidditch once again.

...

Hermione just had a very productive lunch break in the library and was just on her way back to the common room, when she suddenly crashed into a person as she rounded the corner. Off balance and still determined not to topple down, she grabs the thing closest to her - which just happens to be the slim waist of the person she bumped into. After steadying herself again, she finally looks up - and stares right into the green eyes of Professor McGonagall. 

"LESBIA-"  
"Oh my god, will you shut up!?" Hermione curses and immediately yanks off the blasted piece of clothing. To prove her point she sends an extra glare at the silk which just went back to the original grey colour once it was removed from her throat. Minerva watches the scene with amusement dancing in her eyes.

"Miss Granger," Hermione's eyes snap up at the commanding tone, "will you please accompany me to my office? I believe there is something we should settle."  
Bloody great, Hermione thinks with slumped shoulders. "Yes, of course, Professor," she agrees in a placating tone. They pass some students who are whispering and pointing at her once again, and Hermione's mood sinks even further. If only there was a hole that she could sink into.

...

To Hermione's surprise Professor McGonagall didn't lead them to her Headmistress office but to her old one near the Gryffindor Tower. She knows better than to question the decision, so she keeps her mouth shut.

"That is certainly an interesting scarf you've got there," McGonagall starts calmly once the door has closed behind them. She carefully plucks the aforementioned garment from Hermione's fingers. She eyes it for a second, then wraps it snugly around her throat. The scarf immediately changes from the unassuming grey colour to a vibrant green. Minerva starts scanning the office: She looks at her filled bookcases, holding several rare tomes, then she looks at something like a framed diploma, then at a picture. At last her gaze stops at Hermione again, who is still lingering by the door. 

"LESBIAN!" the shrill voice finally announces. Hermione's eyes go wide.

"Ah, so it works just as I thought," Minerva murmurs. She adds a bit louder this time "Do you understand how it works then?" 

Hermione looks like a deer caught in headlights. With three long strides Minerva crowds Hermione back into the door. Hermione's thoughts are running a thousand miles per hour.

"Why, I think you do," she says mischieviously. "Hermione... Look at me," she purrs. 

They look at each other. It is utterly quiet.

Then their mouths crash together and all thoughts are forgotten. Hermione moans when tongues battle in their mouths, and it's all the encouragement Minerva needs to press her body into Hermione's small, lithe form. She grabs Hermione's head to pull it even closer.

Hermione, at first lost in the sensations, starts to move as well. She grabs the older woman's waist and pulls, wanting her impossibly closer. 

When Hermione runs out of air she starts kissing her way along the older woman's jawline, soft puffs of air betraying her breathlessness. But as there's not even a millimeter of space between them anymore, she can feel Minerva's heavy breaths as well, breasts rubbing together with each exhale.

Hermione starts mustering her face and finds she quite likes the red swollen lips on the other woman's face, even when they look slightly out of place. When she glances into Minerva's eyes again she sees desire and something akin to wonder as plain as day.  
Then she sneaks up and a hand and works on undoing the strict bun. Within seconds the hair falls loose and Hermione grabs a handful. She smirks briefly, and then pulls her down to kiss her once more.

The pair explores each other once again, hands grabbing everything in their way, mouths nibbling along the other one's skin and trying to find sensitive spots, learning about the different kind of moans. They enjoy each other's company, but suddenly reality crashes back into Hermione's conscience.

Having lost all sense of time, she quickly searches for a clock in the room. When she doesn't find one, she remembers an old phrase that Ron once told her while being choked by a plant. _Are you a witch or not?_  
"Tempus."

She is already seven minutes late to her Potions class. Great, the new professor is going to kill her.

"I'm sorry but I'm so unbelievably late, I have to leave," she forces out in a harried voice. Then she remembers that her books are still in her dormitory. "Shit."

"Hermione," Minerva replies in a gentle voice. "Don't worry about it. If I escort you to the classroom, no one will question your tardiness." Minerva smirks. "Also, if you rush there immediately, then everyone will see what you've just been up to." She traces the swollen lips.

She grins back at her. "Well, it just occurred to me that I have to grab my books from my room anyways. But of course I would be delighted to be escorted by the Headmistress herself." 

"And who knows," she adds after a short pause, "Maybe there is a dark alcove or two on the way down that don't mind if we use them for a short reminder of what we just discussed." Hermione looks blatantly obvious at the older witch's lips and adds a wink for good measure.

"Cheeky witch," Minerva replies but the smile tugs at the corners of her mouth and they both know it.

Hermione ends up missing more than half of the lesson but at least now she knows several more dark corners of the castle. For future reference, obviously.


End file.
